Wednesday, June 19, 2013

5am Catch Up

It's been awhile. And I think that's ok. There just hasn't been much worth sharing.
I think I finally am ok with my job. It still varies by the hour, but I've had more "ok" hours than "omg I hate this place" hours. So I think this is good.

My mother is JUST NOW commenting on my facebook posts. Oh you know, 6months later, she finally feels it's ok to talk. She still hasn't called me. I wouldn't answer it if she did. Her texts now include "I love you" but I just shake my head. She hasn't said that in about 10yrs. I do send her civil texts like, "thank you for the flowers" or "happy mothers day". I don't see why I need to be the adult and just call her out on completely ignoring the fact my husband caught her cheating. I used to want to sit both parents and counselors down and just let me go off. It sounds appealing to get everything off my chest, but honestly, the anger is just too exhausting.

My father was the good parent, trying to keep things positive for my siblings. My mother has fallen off the parent-wagon, but not my dad. Until recently. I know he's hanging out with some chick (at least was, not sure now) but I've made it clear that I do not want to know anything, not even the fact she exists. Not yet. Back to my dad, he's finally gaining weight. When my dad used to be on his old meds, weight loss would likely cause a seizure. This new medicine he's on has been amazing. He got scarily skinny, but I knew my paternal grandmother was watching him and trying to force as much food as possible. So we're all relieved he's finally getting his weight back and clothes fit again. He looks more alive.

However, my parents both are taking a sebatical from parenting. My brother is 12yo, just entering middle school, and has hit tween crisis. He's always been the emo child. But this is ridiculous. On the days he DID go to school, he'd spend all day in the counselor's office. But he was always at home, sending me screen shots of video games. Yeah, that's a GREAT alternative to school. So my mother took him out of the normal middle school and enrolled him in alternative school. Where 99% of students are drug users, dealers, pregnant, etc. Supposedly he LOVES this school. Then he blantanly skipped. He got an Instagram account and has been raving about not doing anything, and listening to music all day. It got bad enough where my uncle (who's daughter is same age, & Instagram buds with my bro), said enough. My brother isn't allowed at their house because my mother isn't making good decisions.

My mother's been leaving my siblings with family and doing her own little thing. Not okay by me. If you're responsible enough to have the kids, and file for divorce, be responsible with them on the days you actually have them. I had to inform my dad of my brother's actions. He had NO clue. I think that was an eye opener for him. I chewed my brother out for staying in the bedroom on the computer, than to come out with everyone for my dad's birthday. He refused because we're not a family. I told him we were here, and that is what family is. I made him think about how awful my dad has to feel, having his birthday alone for the first time in 28yrs. Ugh, my brother pisses me off. I've made it clear to both my husband and my father, that if we weren't half packed up, or were in a new house, I would willingly take my brother for the summer. He wouldn't have internet until we were there, do chores, be outside, wash his effing hair, and learn to have human face-to-face interaction. I personally think it should say something when the oldest daughter is offering to be the parent when the actual parents aren't doing their job.

Moving on from that...

The past couple months we been selling our house. It was sold for a hot minute until the Buyer's bank told him 2wks before closing, that he wasn't approved after all. Thank you Hapo. I get to walk past Hapo's home mortgage every single day. Hapo owns the building I work in. I have to pass home mortage to leave the building or use the bathroom. Nice huh?

Anyways, it's wearing on my husband and I. It's been 3 solid months of not knowing where we'll be in a month. But it's helped us keep our summer open.

Just been a very busy, dramatic, infuriating, emotional, sad, tear-flowing, disappointing few months. I just want a new change to start fresh. Not have a care. All we can do is focus on ourselves and have fun that day.

And now it's 6am, and time to hit the shower. Maybe by the end of summer, I'll have more to share about.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

I Blame TheBloggess

**WARNING**
**Slight shoulder nudity**

This weekend we went down to Ptown for multiple reasons. I had my bday dinner with my dad, siblings, and paternal grandparents. (my mother & other grandparents sent their gift with the kids). Then we went to our friends' house for her birthday.

I had been super excited to stay at our inlaws house because they have a huge jetted tub. Mil lets me take a bath whenever because she knows how envious I am of that tub. So, Sunday I wake up and my husband was occupied watching tv. He suggested I take a bath before we left. I think I was running to it before he finished talking.

This tub is glorious. The bday friend gave me a Scentsy bath tab that I had used the day before. Today, I wasn't using jets, just a hot bubble bath. I was sitting there, reading TheBloggess' book Let's Pretend This Never Happened on my Kindle, completely engulfed in it. After a bit, the jets came on, spitting out air to get rid of excess water. When the whole tub was filled. With bubbles.

I panicked BUT I did move the Kindle to higher ground. I'm yelling for my husband to come and help me, but I only got the dog. I don't know if the dog understood the panic in my voice, but when I told him to "go get dad" he turned and went to get him. I'm trying to shut the jets off, but since those weren't the right jets, they wouldn't shut off. So the bubbles grew. And grew.

When my dear husband finally came (and told me to pull the drain), he took a precious moment to take in the scene and laugh his ass off. To his credit, it was pretty comical. The bath was overflowing with bubbles. In my panic-induced delirium, I said "I kinda wish we had a picture". Horrible thing to say. Because my husband whipped out his phone and took a picture.


Thank gawd I got all the bubbles back in the tub, and down the drain. By the way, the picture didn't show I had cleaned up some over the overflow.

So really, if I hadn't been reading TheBloggess's book, I wouldn't have had a bubble issue. But I did have a good story to tell.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Black Holidays

I might as well get this out and off my chest.

New Year's Eve, my poor husband caught my mother at another man's house. Inside his locked gate actually. After texting his long-term girlfriend, making sure she wasn't home. We knew for months that she was up to no good when she won't allow anyone on her phone. And my dad kept seeing the guy's number come up on phone records. We knew it was coming. Except, she denies everything.

My aunt called 911 on my dad, thinking he was suicidal (I know what was said, how it can be perceived that way from a stranger, but no way is my dad suicidal). My mother then put a restraining order against my dad. She took away the last thing he cared the most about, my brother and sister. At least til this Friday.

According to my dad, my mom filed for divorce yesterday. Shocker.

I wish they could've been adults throughout this whole thing. But no, she has to play games, setting my dad up to fail. Oh, she was making the boat payments in full on time, but the house payment was 3months behind. Because my dad's name was on it. SUCH a courteous one, my mother.

I pray everyday that my brother and sister don't get messed up because of this. My brother is such a roller coaster anyways. And my sister is very much a daddy's girl. It hurt when I had to tell my sister, no I couldn't eat spaghetti and spend the night. Regardless it was already 8:30pm.

During same week this shit went down, I developed a double ear infection. FUN. I have hydros to help with the pain but I can't take them during the day. And I want to sleep when I come off them. But at least my ears aren't in such pain and I can close my jaw again. I do wish I can hear again, though.

Krazy and her boyfriend broke up. And she's trying to be besties with MIL again. Ain't happenin. Krazy's pouting because we're not giving her the time of day. Good. She needs to be told no.

I think that's it for now. Gawd I hope so. I don't want to deal with more of this shit.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Don't Judge

This past month hasn't been very nice.

I've been ignoring twitter. On purpose. I know, shocker. It was fun to keep up with Twitter friends and just hear their drama, because you weren't involved. Now, I don't want to hear another whine, especially from strangers. I'll listen to my friends, and help them whenever I can. But honestly, I got enough shit going on, I just don't want it.

I'm heavily debating blocking a family member on Facebook. Which is weird because FB is a place I let my family follow me. (Twitter is totally diff story). I don't want to see posts, updates, lies, or falsely happy pictures from this person. I don't want them to see any of my pics, honest updates, or see any glimpse of our happy lives. I feel cold hearted but at the same time, I've lost all respect for this person. I think we've spoken 2x since this whole thing started, (a month ago). I want to say what's happened, and what's occupying my head. I just can't. But what I will say is, when I was first approached, I was happy for the upcoming growth of a person. But the outcome and events that have since happened, just fucking sucks.

Ok. I need to move on from that.

Um. oh! oh! oh!

Krazy made an appearance at Thanksgiving dinner!! She had to pick up our niece, but decided she couldn't wait in the car like it was arranged. The best part, with the exception of one person, everyone was awkwardly silent. and it was glorious. Krazy's been telling our niece lies, truths that shouldn't ever include a child, and stories to relay to MIL. Just sickening the way she uses her child. But I was glad she didn't get the warm welcome she was expecting. 

The other day I realized that we seem pretty redneckish. So. Middle Bro is dating my aunt. And I'm working super closely with ExRoomie's GF. And my other aunt posted a pic of me and Husband with all my siblings/cousins (all close in age, except LilA), and they looked like they were our own kids. Oh lordy lou. I hope work doesn't ask for the family explaination. If I don't like it, I don't have to explain, right? Gawd, I hope not. 

Let's see, Krazy, family drama, redneck, yeah. I think that's about it. If not, oh well. It's just gonna hafta be. 

PS- Krazy heard Middle Bro was dating the aunt she about attacked at my wedding. She's not happy. All of a sudden she's trying to talk to the family more. How fucking convienent.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Oh October!

October has been a fucking roller coaster man! Well, September was stressful so October was like a Valium before going on Magic Mountain. You just don't give a fuck, but you're along for the ride.

In September, my husband left his job and started a new one. When he told people he got a new job, people assumed it was because of the money. Let me correct. It never was about the money. We only cared about the money in the aspect that, it can't be minimum wage. Thankfully, it was a nice raise. No, this job was about my husband's happiness. He hasn't came home pissed off, angry, irritated, emotionally and physically drained, grouchy, or stressed, yet. I hope it won't ever get to that point. This new job has better benefits, better people, a bit more relaxed, better schedule, no winter shift, and my favorite, his life expectancy has greatly improved. He still works on roads and with traffic. Except, traffic now is ~5 cars per day. Woot.

The downside about starting this new job was being paid once a month. So, from old job he got 1 paycheck, not the 2 we figured, and 3 days worth of pay from the new job. That means, for most of September we were broke bitches. Like, we planned to live like broke ass college kids who had already planned for 2 major football events. Lovely. I'm eternally grateful our families are so supportive of us. I spent a whole day in Pullman, ate, drank, watched football, and got back home, for the cost of a $30 hat. That was it. My husband had to pay a lil bit more but that was his own doings. Still, family helped. Our friends were super kind about things, too. No one was pushy when we said we couldn't go out 2 nights in a row. No one complained that we only brought a 12 pack instead of 24. September we basically lived off my weekly salary.

AND WE NEVER ATE RAMEN FOR DINNER.

I ate it for lunch a few times though, simply because I was cold and didn't feel like making a sandwich.

In my vows, I said I knew we were in for rough times but I wasn't afraid of it. I was ready to tackle it without a helmet. It's true. September wasn't nearly as hard as we both planned for it to be. But that doesn't mean we didn't do a happy dance when October's paycheck came in! :)

October. October brought my husband a new job. October brought friends back together. October brought me a new job as well. ExRoomies GF had offered me a job with her. Back in July or August. But October is when I interviewed, stressed, and rocked a phone interview. Today GF sent me a text saying they're typing the official letter offering me a job. I cried. To my defense, I had been listening to Kidd's Kids Day and that got me teary. I tell my parents and MIL. But guess who still doesn't know? My dear husband. Because he left his phone at home. Sigh. That man I tell ya.

October is only halfway done. We still have 2 more weeks. In the next two weeks we will be saying goodbye to a friend and wishing her luck on her next life adventure, husband applying for dream job (though we know he's not likely to get it), hopefully Cooper will get his Seahawk jersey, and we'll have an entire weekend to ourselves. With how crazy our lives always seem to be, we always need to take a time out and just be with each other.

This is the time we'll always remember when we look back to our first year of marriage. And I freaking love it! Just wish we took more embarrasing pictures ;)

Thursday, October 4, 2012

September 20th

*sigh* I'm tired of Krazy. I've had enough crazy this year, I don't need Krazy to add to it. At least this post is semi-decent. I should be outright excited (and I am), but just don't have the energy to jump around.

Thursday (Sept 20th), I had two friends text me, telling me that Krazy has a new boyfriend. I'm not shocked. That girl has no problem finding guys. I'll give her that. It's keeping them that is the trick. But what I was shocked about was on the morning of September 28th. Ya know, thank gawd my friend checked Facebook that morning. I was able to learn, show, and tell so the family knew before lunch. Apparently Krazy got this new boytoy pussy-whipped so bad, he decided she needed a promise ring. [Insert collective gasp here]

Now, it's been 2wks since she publicly posted about this boyfriend. So normal people may think they'd been dating for months before saying anything. No. Krazy can't keep a secret. Hello, she posted her morning surprise before 8am! I personally think they'd been dating 3wks but who the eff knows. What I care about is that she has a boytoy. This is good because she gets very relaxed about the family having our niece. Unfortunately, she's using her daughter to give MIL messages. Example- "My mommy wants me to tell you that she has a new boyfriend, but, but, he's not allowed to spend the night." Riiight. Why would a 3yo feel the need to tell her Grandma that? Besides, we know she didn't hook this guy off of her charm.

Overall, I'm glad Krazy has a boyfriend. I think she totally deserves the creepy guy who gave her a promise ring (and says "I love you") with less than 1 month of knowing her name.

Good luck Krazy. You and your new boytoy will need it.

Sign,
Your fans waiting for the shit to go down







Unrelated: New post coming soon, un-related to Krazy, and about what we're up to!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

August 12, 2012

It took a month to type this one out. She's just that exhausting. Her behavior was just so out of the blue and completely uncalled for.

August 11th-12th was MiddleBro's weekend to have his daughter. When the weekend was over, he was to do "the swap" at his parents' house in Ptown. Apparently he was 5minutes late and Krazy lost her shit. She went off on MIL. She called her a horrible person. She went off about how our niece would be appalled at how our family treats Krazy. How Krazy doesn't want our niece to have anything to do with us, and is never allowed to be there again. She then rubbed her belly and told MIL she won't ever get to know that child. MIL never retalliated, she just kept asking what was wrong, what brought this on. Oh wait, the only hint of retaliation MIL had was when she asked Krazy if she was even pregnant. MiddleBro stood there, completely frozen in shock at what was going on in front of him. Our niece was in Krazy's car, watching all of this go down. FIL came out, got right there to Krazy, and told her, do not disrespect my wife, get the fuck off my property, you are never allowed back. And Krazy left. 

Now, let's disect her little rant. Typically, 5 minutes is nothing to get that upset over. Be irritated, that's ok. But not a reason to flip the fuck out. Next, MIL is quite the opposite of a horrible person. She damn near raised our niece as much as MiddleBro and Krazy have. She has provided food, shelter, clothes, toys, movies, & life lessons to that child that Krazy and MiddleBro hadn't. She watches that child whenever a babysitter was needed, regardless of how tired she was. So to go off on MIL and call her a horrible person, is entirely out of bounds. How about the part when Krazy claims we treat her like shit. Hmm. My husband remembers very vividly during our Rehearsal Dinner, the night before our wedding, how Krazy asked him what she can do to be on good terms with him and get our "approval". He told her that the only thing she needs to do is to treat MIL respectfully. You respect MIL, you're good with Husband. She never asked my opinion. I didn't like her, but I was being civil and polite. And quite frankly, I'm glad MIL voiced her opinion about Krazy's pregnancy.

It's now time for MiddleBro and the whole family to start thinking heavily about court. He's never gone to court for his daughter for custody. They still do every other weekend is his "time" but it still needs to be court-recognized. Unfortunately, the State of Washington makes it incredibly hard (damn near impossible) for a child to be removed from the mother. My friend told me of her cousin: he tried for custody because Baby-Mama was an alcoholic. Judge refused it, and told him he needs more proof. Isn't that assinine? An alcoholic mother can still have full custody of her child, even though the father is the better choice? That is what we'll have to deal with. I refuse to say it's on MiddleBro. We all band together for family and we all will do what we can to maintain the few visits we get, just to see that little girl.

If I remember correctly, it was either Tuesday or Wednesday that Krazy told MiddleBro that she lost the baby due to stress. The stress she caused herself. I doubted she was ever pregnant, but if she was, thank God that baby won't be born into this mess.

We do get to see our niece, thankfully. Interestingly, I last saw her at MIL's house. :) Unfortunately, she's resorted to talking baby-whiney-talk. She's also told MIL a few things that make you wonder what in the hell Krazy is telling her daughter. I wish I could remember the exact words, but it was along the lines of us hating Krazy and her (among a few others). It crushed MIL. You don't involve your 3yo on your adult matters.

You don't act like a child yourself when you become a parent. You grow up and are responsible for another human being. A perfect, innocent, child.