Monday, January 30, 2012

Monday Thoughts

I have a few stories to share but I need to sit at a computer. In our house, that's hard. So later this week you'll get a few.

Last week I had posted about Krazy's lyrical FB post. Then Fiance and I went to Hometown to see Bonehead and our Niece yesterday. Fiance let Bonehead know we were close, just in case Krazy was there. We were being nice. We gave a get away opportunity. Krazy never came the entire visit. And we stayed a few hours. Since it was Sunday nigt, Krazy should've been at the house to pick up Niece anytime. We're used to that, no biggie. But then Bonehead said he was meeting her in town at vague place. Anyone else's red flag waving yet?

Oh well. Fiance and I talked while Bonehead was gone. We agreed it was odd, but it was calmer this way. The whole family knows about the potential Krazy invasion. We know how she is. We're also confident she knows she's not welcome. Fiance was glad he didn't have to see or talk to Krazy. I was glad, too, but lil bummed we couldn't say anything at the same time. Fiance got a kick out of that because that's just not my normal self. Not at that house.

So, Krazy never appeared this weekend. Bonehead knows we're going to be there next weekend, too. If Krazy decides to choose that day to make an appearance, it won't end nice. She'd be a piece of meat, walking into lions den. And she knows it this time.

I'm excited for Super Bowl Sunday now. :)

*Jaw Drop*

Today I'm skipping ahead 2years because I had told a friend about it this weekend.

It was New Years Eve, 2010. It was the first NYE party we held at our house. We're not strangers to having parties or drinking. We're used to that. Fiance, Roomie, and myself had all been cleaning for 2days. But we didn't Krazy proof it. I had no clue that I had to.

I don't remember what all we were doing to the house but apparently de-bachelorizing was high on my priority. I don't knwo, I don't try to figure Me out. It's confusing in this cluttered head. But apparently Roomie's round table and chairs took up too much room. I had been wanting my table in the house for a long time, I just needed to find chairs. My table is an antique, old skool square table that my funky G~ma bought and refinished for me. My table has 2 leafs, but you have to lift the top entire off to pull the leafs out. I freaking LOVE my table. Fiance found some chairs that are slightly darker than the table (my fault though, oops!) and we brought them home. It was in the house for about 2months before this party. I kept placemats on the table because liquids leave a stain in the finish. People knew I loved my table.

So back to the party. It's well under way, but nowhere near midnight (meaning people were still fairly sober). Bonehead and Krazy came over before having to go to next party. That's fine by me since there's so many people over. I was fiddle-fartin around the kitchen and Krazy was at the table with few people. I couldn't get a pickle jar open so I was going to the living room where some guys were. If they couldn't open it, then we just wouldn't have pickles. Krazy said she could open it. I looked at her questionably because she's got about the same arm strength as me. Not that much. I handed her the jar in case she knew something I hadn't just tried. She took the jar and started smacking the top on my table. I was shocked. Eyes wide, mouth open, frozen. After the 2nd or 3rd try I took the jar and told her the guys will open it. Not sure when but shortly after, she asked if I was upset. I told her she had just left dents in my antique table. She apologized but this girl hasn't ever said a sincere apology in our house, ever. I tried to remain calm while I quickly finished in the kitchen. Then I went outside to Fiance to vent off some anger before I got really upset.

I've seen this "technique" done before. My family has done it at one point or another. But we've done it on surfaces that are known to withstand it, and we don't hit that hard. Typically, wood just isn't a great surface to hit stuff. And not at someone else's house without permission. The table is now always covered by placemats and various items now. We put a beeswax coat on it so the dents are protected, but I still know. My poor table.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Today, one of my fabulous friends (who thinks this blog is pretty freakin awesome), sent me a text about Krazy. She said that Krazy had made a Facebook post "about acting single or whatever...Not so in love?" I immediately responded, "screen shot that shiz!" And viola I got one. However, I'm not so good with editing that type of stuff so you're going to have to trust me.

Krazy: "I can smile, live it up, The way a single girl does." Hmm. Interesting. For those who don't know, those are the lyrics to a song by Rascal Flatts ft. Natasha Bedingfield. The song is about two people broken up and faking the smiles, putting up the front of being happy, and how hard it is to fake being happy. Now do you see why its so interesting?! Monday (or was it Tuesday?) Krazy sent Roomie a "6pg text" about how she loves Bonehead, and Bonehead loves her to death. Yadda yadda yadda, gag me. Love in this family ain't no temporary thang. It's deep, it's meaningful, and it's a way of life. Love doesn't end in time for the weekend. Part of me is hoping Bonehead just took advantage of the situation and "toot it boot it" because really, who wants Krazy drama again?

While we're on topic, what's is with this girl? Doesn't Bonehead realize there are other vaginas in this world?! Ya know, ones that act all hoity toity. He's putting the pussy on the pedestal. And that shiz ain't cool when it likes to roll off the damn pedestal.

Hopefully Sunday was a temporary thing. Maybe its like Inception and this whole thing is a dream. I don't know. What I do know is, I'll find out on Sunday. Ha. A week later. I have a feeling Monday's post will be pretty freakin entertaining.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Rewinding, A History of WTFs

I left things a little vague yesterday. So I decided to clue you guys in a little. Let me break it all down for you.

Me- I'm telling you the dang stories!
Fiance- Self explanatory, doncha think? Also, youngest of 3 brothers.
Roomie- The oldest of the 3 brothers. He lives with us.
Krazy- Our subject of this blog.
Bonehead- The middle brother, the "genius" who decided to get back with baby momma.
MIL- Future Mother in Law.
FIL- Future Father in Law.

I have lots of stories about Krazy and the things I've seen. Since InLaws are pre-wedding vacationing for 3wks, I figured I'd tell ya'll some of my stories. After all, the newest drama won't start til InLaws get back. Because of my oh-so-marvelous timeframe remembering skills, I won't go in exact order of stories. But the very beginning should definitely be first.

When I met Krazy, she and Bonehead were staying at his Rents' house because they had just had a baby 3 months prior. I wasn't a drinker at that time but learned even my weak ass drinks were too strong for her. Not sure if she's ever had a strong drink. It's a shame, really. Over the next 2 months I learned a few of her mannerisms. I noticed she treated our Future MIL like shit, still wanted to go out and party even though her 4month old didn't, and she had this thought in her head that we all owed her.

Let me tell you something about our FMIL. She's pretty freaking awesome! When I'm at their house, I'm instantly calm and overwhelmed with a sense of welcome. She accepted me as a daughter right from the very beginning. Fiance let me in on a little secret. I've done the dishes everytime we go over there for dinner. BBQs and parties are no exception. There was ONE time I didn't do them, and that was because I fell asleep on the couch. In the entire time Krazy has lived (rent free) under their roof, she never has done that. Ever. And she wasn't even employed.

I learned something else about Krazy in those few months. She was competitive.

She was smug about how she could talk basketball with the brothers and FIL. But she was threatened that she had to share MIL. MIL laughed and smiled when we talked. With Krazy and MIL, conversation was forced. Eventually Krazy tried to "help" me do dishes once. She was so proud of herself, someone (not in household) saw that moment of us both doing dishes. She smiled, I rolled my eyes and raised an eyebrow.
She took MILs clothes, and that was a constant battle. MIL would gladly offer up any piece of clothing she had for either of us, as long as we asked first. That was known as the Period of Lost Clothes.

Remember how Krazy can't handle "strong" drinks? Well, I dunno what bug crawled in her head but the need to go out and party was insane. InLaws had the baby what felt like every weekend. Even to this day, the child was partially (like almost 75%) raised by MIL. It was always someone's birthday that Krazy and Bonehead had to go and celebrate. Yet, Krazy would try to tell me how she doesn't have a social life now that she has a baby. How's that work?

Alright. That's it for today. I don't feel like getting myself all worked up over her. Perhaps tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

First post. Deep breaths

So, first blog. First post. Talk about intimidating! It's like I'm speaking in front of a huge audience, but I can't see them. This could be fun. There's less stage fright behind a screen.

Over the past year I've threatened toyed with the idea of starting a blog to record all the shiz my future-sister-in-law said and did. Let me tell you, she's aa doozy! I don't know the story between her and Future Bro in law, but I always saw it as he stayed with her because she's his baby momma. Well, they were always rocky, then split, then when they got back together, they decided they were going to proceed with the on/off engagement. They had set a date of 2months after we (fiance & I) tied the knot.

You know its funny how weddings celebrate the beginning of a lifetime together for most couples. Well, FBiL & FSiL (I'll think of names later) ended their relationship because she was wee bit too floozy at a wedding. I think its ironically hilarious.

For a few peaceful and glorious months, there was no FSiL. Til now. Last night, Roomie (Fiance's oldest bro) informed us on the tragedy. Knowing how this girl is, and a bunch of arm twisting from friends, I decided to start up the blog idea. Please be patient with me and my writing. My head goes faster than my fingers can type.

Let the drama unfold…

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