Black Holidays

I might as well get this out and off my chest.

New Year's Eve, my poor husband caught my mother at another man's house. Inside his locked gate actually. After texting his long-term girlfriend, making sure she wasn't home. We knew for months that she was up to no good when she won't allow anyone on her phone. And my dad kept seeing the guy's number come up on phone records. We knew it was coming. Except, she denies everything.

My aunt called 911 on my dad, thinking he was suicidal (I know what was said, how it can be perceived that way from a stranger, but no way is my dad suicidal). My mother then put a restraining order against my dad. She took away the last thing he cared the most about, my brother and sister. At least til this Friday.

According to my dad, my mom filed for divorce yesterday. Shocker.

I wish they could've been adults throughout this whole thing. But no, she has to play games, setting my dad up to fail. Oh, she was making the boat payments in full on time, but the house payment was 3months behind. Because my dad's name was on it. SUCH a courteous one, my mother.

I pray everyday that my brother and sister don't get messed up because of this. My brother is such a roller coaster anyways. And my sister is very much a daddy's girl. It hurt when I had to tell my sister, no I couldn't eat spaghetti and spend the night. Regardless it was already 8:30pm.

During same week this shit went down, I developed a double ear infection. FUN. I have hydros to help with the pain but I can't take them during the day. And I want to sleep when I come off them. But at least my ears aren't in such pain and I can close my jaw again. I do wish I can hear again, though.

Krazy and her boyfriend broke up. And she's trying to be besties with MIL again. Ain't happenin. Krazy's pouting because we're not giving her the time of day. Good. She needs to be told no.

I think that's it for now. Gawd I hope so. I don't want to deal with more of this shit.

Don't Judge

This past month hasn't been very nice.

I've been ignoring twitter. On purpose. I know, shocker. It was fun to keep up with Twitter friends and just hear their drama, because you weren't involved. Now, I don't want to hear another whine, especially from strangers. I'll listen to my friends, and help them whenever I can. But honestly, I got enough shit going on, I just don't want it.

I'm heavily debating blocking a family member on Facebook. Which is weird because FB is a place I let my family follow me. (Twitter is totally diff story). I don't want to see posts, updates, lies, or falsely happy pictures from this person. I don't want them to see any of my pics, honest updates, or see any glimpse of our happy lives. I feel cold hearted but at the same time, I've lost all respect for this person. I think we've spoken 2x since this whole thing started, (a month ago). I want to say what's happened, and what's occupying my head. I just can't. But what I will say is, when I was first approached, I was happy for the upcoming growth of a person. But the outcome and events that have since happened, just fucking sucks.

Ok. I need to move on from that.

Um. oh! oh! oh!

Krazy made an appearance at Thanksgiving dinner!! She had to pick up our niece, but decided she couldn't wait in the car like it was arranged. The best part, with the exception of one person, everyone was awkwardly silent. and it was glorious. Krazy's been telling our niece lies, truths that shouldn't ever include a child, and stories to relay to MIL. Just sickening the way she uses her child. But I was glad she didn't get the warm welcome she was expecting. 

The other day I realized that we seem pretty redneckish. So. Middle Bro is dating my aunt. And I'm working super closely with ExRoomie's GF. And my other aunt posted a pic of me and Husband with all my siblings/cousins (all close in age, except LilA), and they looked like they were our own kids. Oh lordy lou. I hope work doesn't ask for the family explaination. If I don't like it, I don't have to explain, right? Gawd, I hope not. 

Let's see, Krazy, family drama, redneck, yeah. I think that's about it. If not, oh well. It's just gonna hafta be. 

PS- Krazy heard Middle Bro was dating the aunt she about attacked at my wedding. She's not happy. All of a sudden she's trying to talk to the family more. How fucking convienent.

Double Dog Dare

This won't be a story about Krazy. This one's about me. It doesn't define who I am, but it does make me, well, me.

I have a bone disease. Fibrosis Dysplasia. Don't try and look it up. This disease isn't necessarily a disease, but it's the best my Doc could label it as. It's a mix of two different conditions. My femurs (thigh bones guys), wrists, and elbows are weak. The bones aren't solid like they should be and are very easily broke. My wrists and elbows aren't a concern. The problem was my femurs. My left femur was very bowed in 2 ways: it bowed up, and out. My right femur (if I understand correctly) had the bigger area that was "thin."

I was diagnosed when I was 3 years old. I had tried to crawl out of my crib and gotten my foot stuck, and broke my ankle (foot? hell, I don't know). When my young mom took me to the hospital, she was incredibly lucky and the doctor had known who to refer me to. He had seen 1 other case before and knew of the best doc on this side of the country. His name is Dr. Ernest "Chappie" Conrad. We would become very close the next 15years. I had a biopsy when I was about 3yrs old; a stainless steel rod in right femur in 2nd grade; titanium rods, pins, and screws in left femur 3days after I turned 13yo; and then replaced my stainless steel to put in the titanium rod in my right femur when I was 16yo.
I could go into more details but I don't want to. I'm not ashamed, or trying to hide it. I'm just too damn excited for whats next.

Again, I was never shy or ashamed of my scars. To be honest, I forgot most of the time that I had them, even during summer. Once I had gotten old enough to fully embrace God's Gifts, I made a fun game with myself. I know when someone looks at my scars (when I'm not looking other way) and then I love to see who will actually ask me about them. I am truly estatic when someone asks. I know they had enough balls to approach a (more often than not) perfect stranger and ask what happened. But when I'm with friends or family, people tend to ask them. Yeah, it's fine and probably more "polite" but thats not how my game plays.

That brings us to now. About 3wks ago, I had an idea and before I lost my own cajones, I put it in motion. Instead of waiting for someone to see my scars and wonder if they should ask, I figured I should help them decide:

What this picture doesn't show, is my 2nd grade scar and 16yo scar (they were overlapped).
I got a tattoo (thank you Matt Brown for your patience!) that says "Dare to Ask"

I want people to ask. I'd love to tell them. Even if they don't, I still got a badass tattoo under my gnarliest of scars.

Before:

During:

So that's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

Thank you to Matt Brown at Parkway Tattoo!

I Died...Then I Came Back

I knew I was totally slacking on my blog, but didn't know it was to the point I had to reread my prior posts! Yikes! I'm sorry I haven't posted anything. I've been thinking about it, I truly have! I'm at a standstill, a brick wall perhaps. I have a story I really want to post but its so far towards The End, I don't really feel like I should tell it so soon. But right now, I have things I feel I need to address. Mainly because I'm tired of my brain reminding me to post it while I'm in the shower. (Seriously, what is it about the shower that makes my mind think of shiz like I'm on crack?!) (I've never done crack).


First off, for those who follow me on Twitter, I've been posting a very vague hashtag #somethingupmysleeve. I can't tell you what it's about yet. But if everything goes as planned, then I should be posting the reveal next Wednesday. A week from today. I know that was such a tease. Trust me, it'll so be worth it. I want to tell you guys! I truly do! But considering the topic, my head, and my feelings on this topic, I need to wait. If you happen to be one of the five people who know, I ask you to please let me do this by myself.


Secondly, a partial reason why I've been MIA (not the singer), is because of the wedding planning. For a few glorious minutes, it looked like this weekend was going to be my first weekend of absolutely nothing planned. Now I'm just hoping plans don't take all day so I can come back home.


Thirdly, shit. I forgot what the third one was. [10mins later, still thinking on what it was] Moving on.


Finally, I want to leave on a Krazy note. Tonight I was at the mall, doing some wedding shopping. I was in Victoria's Secret looking at all the fun swim suits! It's a terrifying sight to see me in one, but the colors are just too fun! I was holding a bikini top I thought MIL would like (oh! They get back from vacay this week!!) and remembered a Krazy story. Fiance and I were at the InLaws house for gawd-knows what. Let's see... I was still skinny so about 1-2.5yrs ago. That sound good? Good. Well, when we got there MIL was pissed and let me tell you, it's rare I see her like that. Turned out that Krazy and Bonehead asked MIL to watch their baby while they went and partied at the river. By now, it was already a pattern that InLaws watched our Niece while Bonehead & Krazy played. I guess Krazy didn't have enough swimsuits (you'd be laughing now if you knew better) because she grabbed all of MIL's bikinis, cover ups, and matching sandals. MIL had planned on going swimming at her Dad's house that afternoon. For some unknown reason, she didn't feel comfortable swimming with her Dad and a baby in a skimpy swimsuit. Remember, MIL would let us borrow anything if we had asked. If Krazy asked beforehand, MIL would've loaned her cover ups and sandals. But MIL doesn't like sharing swimsuits. I don't blame her. I think MIL got new suits after that. I'll have to check with Fiance, but I also think that was the reason I got a very nice gift in front of Krazy, when Krazy didn't get one. I'll post about that one when I can ask Fiance.

Hope this satisfies everyone for awhile. I'm trying so hard to remember stories of Krazy that are longer than "yeah, she said something stupid and we all stared at her."